Hye, bersua kembali! Apa khabar semua? Hope semua dalam keadaan baik dan sihat.
Baiklah, sudah beberapa hari tak update blog. Mesti ramai yang dah tertunggu my blog post yang baru kan? =p
Hmm, minggu ni sebenarnya berlalu dengan amat panjang dan banyak cerita yang telah berlaku dalam diri saya.
Masalah yang melanda sangat menggugat kekuatan diri ini. Sampai tercabut terus rasa keyakinan dengan diri sendiri.
Ramai yang tanya, apa yang da jadi, kenapa jadi macam tu dan minta share the problem. Thanks for the concern and care. Tapi memang tak dapat lah nak cerita pape, sebab masalah ni agak complex dan melibatkan orang lain juga.
Sepanjang masalah ni timbul, macam-macam isu yang bermain di fikiran ni. It's true, memang I was really depressed and feeling like everything is not worth it anymore.
Post kali ni bukan la nak berkongsikan masalah yang sebenar, but I think I should write this as a part of my memories.
As in the last post I shared that I felt so many kind of feelings, then all the feelings turned me into sadness and severe depression. 8 and 9 March were really challenging for me. It's not that I felt scared or wrong. But the thing is, there were so many issues within that drag into negative space and emotion.
I felt so sick ( I should not state the reasons here), but I was really hurt.
But I was so lucky that I was not alone along the difficult time. Time I was really down, there were many people kept motivating and encouraging me. When I was about to give up and quit, there were people kept advising me. When I was going to make a wrong move, there were people kept preventing me to do so. I feel so blessed that I was not left alone.
I understand, mesti ramai yang tak faham apa yang dah terjadi dan ingin tahu. Bukan tak mahu share, just keadaan tidak mengizinkan. Orang puteh kata silence is golden. Sekurang-kurangnya I wrote this post and allow all of you to know a bit what has happened to me than nothing.
With all the support and motivation, now I have come back. I have found the underlying cause that broke me into pieces and I will never allow sadness, depression and negative feelings influence me to do stupid decision which at last I'm the one whom loss many good things in me. I will never turn down all the support from people that believe and expect me.
For the time being, I would say the problem is almost settled and everything is getting better. I have learnt a lot from the things that happened. I learnt more about myself and I know better my real personality and characteristics. Then I learnt the actual weakness in me. The opportunities that I have and also the threat that I need to face. It's kind of the real SWOT analysis for me.
Now I want to be happy and enjoy my remaining 2 months plus studying time at faculty of pharmacy CUCMS. I will make my days even more meaningful with joys and excitement. Orang lain nak bersikap negatif, itu mereka punya pasal. Yang penting saya perlu teruskan dengan sikap yang tepat dan jadi diri sendiri. It's great to gain back my confidence. That's my actual strength, it's the confidence within me that's the most important for me.
I was impressed with the slides presentation yang En Rashidi tunjuk time kat kelas petang td. Cerita berkaitan karot, telor dan serbuk kopi. I could see that previously I was like the carrot. Now after getting through this big problem, I wish to turn like the serbuk kopi, to be better and able to handle stress and problem in life effectively. Betullah orang kata setiap perkara buruk yang berlaku pada kita sama ada ia adalah ujian ataupun ada terkandung hikmah buat kita yang kita tidak tahu.
For readers, kalau tak faham, tak pe. Memang post kali ni agak tunggang terbalik sikit. I just write what in my mind. Tapi ada maksud yang mendalam bagi diri saya.
Baiklah, lupakan semua kesedihan, mari kuatkan semangat semula, jadi diri sendiri dan I just want to tell the world that, NIZAM MALEK HAS COME BACK!! =)
